All Heel to the Queen (of Compulsion)
Heels of bread.
That is what lodged in my brain after a visit to my blog buddy, Lynn, at her wonderful blog Present Letters. She wrote about things other folks do that drive us crazy, and heels of bread figured prominently (you’ll have to click the link and visit her blog to find out why).
Breathe easy; I’m not stealing Lynn’s topic. I’m offering something more along the lines of insight into my crazy mentality. See, on the subject of heels of bread and whether to eat them or pitch them, I stand solidly on the side of eating them. I do not eat them because I like the heels. I eat them because I don’t like to throw food away, even food that I don’t care for.
Before you credit me with being a selfless defender of foodstuffs, please read on. In reality, it is my zany imagination that saves the bread heels. In my mind is a vivid portrait of me starving in some post apocalyptic environment, dreaming about all the food I’ve dumped during a time when meals were plenty and regular.
My fear is extreme, but whenever fridge cleaning is necessary, that’s the picture that springs into my brain. I’ve been known to let leftovers sit so long they grow green hair, become chemically dependent and threaten to form a rock band in my fridge. See, my guilt at throwing food away is assuaged if said food is so old and gunky even Daisy, my daughter’s pet rat, turns her nose up. Crazy, right?
Who knows why we have the fears we do? There is no reason to believe I will ever be starving and awaiting the arrival of the Terminator, but there it is. As long as this image dances before my eyes those heels that bookend loaves of bread in my pantry need not fear the blades of the garbage disposal. Even if I don’t eat them I never throw them away. I freeze the heels and bring them to the ducks when we go to the lake. At one point last year the equivalent of ten loaves of bread (all heels) sat rock solid in my freezer awaiting a trip to the lake.
Call me crazy, but my conscience is clear and the Lake Lanier ducks have submitted my name for sainthood.
Save the heels!
Clip art courtesy of Hasslefreeclipart.com.