Lisa Ricard Claro – Author

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All Heel to the Queen (of Compulsion)

Posted on May 20, 2010 by Lisa Ricard Claro   6 Comments | Posted in bread · compulsion · ducks · heels

Heels of bread.

That is what lodged in my brain after a visit to my blog buddy, Lynn, at her wonderful blog Present Letters.  She wrote about things other folks do that drive us crazy, and heels of bread figured prominently (you’ll have to click the link and visit her blog to find out why).

Breathe easy; I’m not stealing Lynn’s topic. I’m offering something more along the lines of insight into my crazy mentality.  See, on the subject of heels of bread and whether to eat them or pitch them, I stand solidly on the side of eating them.  I do not eat them because I like the heels.  I eat them because I don’t like to throw food away, even food that I don’t care for.

Before you credit me with being a selfless defender of foodstuffs, please read on. In reality, it is my zany imagination that saves the bread heels.  In my mind is a vivid portrait of me starving in some post apocalyptic environment, dreaming about all the food I’ve dumped during a time when meals were plenty and regular.

My fear is extreme, but whenever fridge cleaning is necessary, that’s the picture that springs into my brain.  I’ve been known to let leftovers sit so long they grow green hair, become chemically dependent and threaten to form a rock band in my fridge. See, my guilt at throwing food away is assuaged if said food is so old and gunky even Daisy, my daughter’s pet rat, turns her nose up. Crazy, right?

Who knows why we have the fears we do? There is no reason to believe I will ever be starving and awaiting the arrival of the Terminator, but there it is. As long as this image dances before my eyes those heels that bookend loaves of bread in my pantry need not fear the blades of the garbage disposal.  Even if I don’t eat them I never throw them away. I freeze the heels and bring them to the ducks when we go to the lake. At one point last year the equivalent of ten loaves of bread (all heels) sat rock solid in my freezer awaiting a trip to the lake.

Call me crazy, but my conscience is clear and the Lake Lanier ducks have submitted my name for sainthood.

Save the heels!
Lisa

Clip art courtesy of Hasslefreeclipart.com.

6 Responses to "All Heel to the Queen (of Compulsion)"

  1. Comment by BECKY
    May 21, 2010 at 12:01 am  

    Oh so true!! I love how old you keep leftovers! Isn't it weird that we can't just throw them away in the first place?? We save them, never want them, or they get pushed to the back of the fridge…and then: Disgusting!! I've been known to throw away the entire (cheapie) plastic container, because I was afraid to open it!! 😀

  2. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 21, 2010 at 5:48 am  

    Ha ha! I don't know if I've ever done that, but it sounds like a great idea to me. I have found that putting leftovers in zip-lock baggies makes them easier to pitch. After they've acquired the requisite blue hair, of course.

  3. Comment by Lynn
    May 21, 2010 at 10:47 am  

    You are funny Lisa and I swear we think the same – You too Becky – I won't throw away leftovers either. I too must have starved in another life, or was careless. But for some reason I do like the heel of the bread if it's toasted, slathered with butter and jam! I always thought the heel of the bread kept the rest of the bread from going stale so would usually eat it at the end. I will throw it out to the birds before I throw it in the trash. You're sweet to mention my blog.

  4. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 21, 2010 at 2:01 pm  

    I wonder if it is my Grandma's influence, with all that talk of starving children in China! She considered tossed food sacrilegious, probably from living through the depression.On the blog reference–glad to do it. After all, that's where I started thinking about heels!

  5. Comment by Cathy C. Hall
    May 22, 2010 at 12:42 pm  

    On leftover food, what Becky said about throwing out plastic containers? Been there,done that.On the heels of bread…I'll eat them if I must.On heels in general…I dated a few. Made me appreciate the good guys.On Not Taking Responsibility…I could write a book about my teaching days and my biggest student pet peeve: "But Miz Hall, it wasn't my fault."

  6. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm  

    Yeah, I've tossed some plastic, too…and eaten the heels…*sigh* I guess Lynn is right, though. Slather on enough butter and it tastes pretty good.You dated heels? Is the beneficent Mr. Hall aware of this?


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