Lisa Ricard Claro – Author

Romance is good for your heart!

Bits & Pieces: Dreams, Short-Shorts, Dachshunds, & Mystery

Posted on Oct 1, 2014 by Lisa Ricard Claro   No Comments Yet | Posted in Uncategorized

 

 

Welcome to Wednesday, Buttercup! Hope your week has started well and that it continues on a happy note. I’ll do my part here to make that happen.

Today’s post is a “bits & pieces” rendering, with links to stuff I hope you’ll enjoy. Those of you who have been visiting Writing in the Buff for a long time may recognize some of what’s below, but for my new followers this is an opportunity to find out more about what goes on here. It is my greatest desire that no one who visits will be disappointed.

Okay, here we go. Bits & Pieces commencing:

***  #1 – Several years ago an editor at Cape Women Online invited me to write an article about my personal connection to beautiful Cape Cod (read “In Dreams”), and in just the last few weeks I penned another article, “Do Not Follow Your Dream,” for the fall 2014 edition of that e-zine. If you follow me on Facebook you may have already read the latter as I posted it to my status last week, or maybe it didn’t show up in your newsfeed. Anyway, I’d love for you to link over to those articles and give ‘em a read. While you’re there, click on the Home tab and have a look around. It’s a nice spot on the web.

***  #2 – Micro-fiction is one of my great loves, running neck & neck with dark chocolate and Barefoot Sweet Red. Actually, that’s not true. I could give up the wine and chocolate if I had to—be assured doing so would make me very cranky—but the micro-fiction is so woven into my psyche that while I’m standing around in line waiting for stuff I pass the time by making up micro-stories about random people—the waiter, the postman, the lady walking her dog. No one, and I mean no one, is safe. (I imagined a torrid affair between the cashier and the bag boy at my local market, ruined by the discovery that they were real-life siblings. The nerve.) Anyway, one outlet for my micro-story obsession is The Binnacle’s Annual International Ultra-Short Competition. The Binnacle makes its home at the University of Maine at Machias, and has sponsored the competition for a decade. I’ve submitted to the competition the last three years and have been fortunate to receive one win and two honorable mentions. For your reading pleasure, here are my Binnacle ultra-shorts.  Hope they make you smile. Enjoy!

Stubborn Ain’t Good

(HM 2014 – 144 words)

 

Stubborn ain’t good and I’m gonna tell you why. See, there were this field, ten acres of tall grass that Grampa loved.

“Boy, he said, “there’s memorable things happened in that there field.” He spat his chaw juice, hitched his overalls and tromped off.

Some buildin’ company were gonna plow it up and build a Wally-Mart store. Grampa got his stubborn on and said, “Ain’t nobody diggin’ up nuthin’.”

Well, Grampa plopped hisself in a fold-out chair smack middle of the field with a beer cooler settin’ at his feet, and he wouldn’t blink for them diggin’ machines. A three day rain come and he jest set there gettin’ wet.

Weren’t no one surprised, ‘cause Grampa were stubborn.

Rain stopped and he jest set there dryin’ in the sun.

Turns out he were three days dead ‘fore anyone knew it.

Stubborn. It just ain’t good.

 

A Mystery Pundit’s Tale

(HM 2013 –145 words)

 

Detectives Hoover and Bell stood outside Ringer’s Deli. They intended to question Mr. Ringer about his employee, Grey S. Moke, the prime suspect in a string of arson fires, and hoped to order lunch simultaneously.

“Drat, Bell, Ringer’s not in!” Hoover pointed to the ‘closed’ sign in the window.

“I say, Hoover, damn! I wanted a smoked brat in the wurst way,” Bell complained. “Only Ringer fixes it just so.”

“Indeed. Perhaps we’ll visit the Tex-Mex place and you can order a taco, Bell. Let’s away, shall we?”

“Wait! There’s movement!” Hoover cried. The detectives pressed their faces against the glass for a better look. “He’s dragging something. It’s a body!”

“That’s a dead Ringer if ever I saw one,” Bell muttered.

“We’d best call for back-up,” Hoover said. “You know what that villain will do next.”

Bell nodded. “Indeed. Where there’s Moke, there’s fire!”

 

A Twisty Thing

(Top Prize Humor 2012 – 150 words)

 

Pappy drowned in a bowl of pea soup.

“That ain’t dignified,” Granny said, and told the world a heart attack done him in.

Granny says lies will send a soul direct to Hell, but at 83-years-old she figures her truth-to-lie ratio is so high the Almighty won’t notice. Problem for me is I’m only 13. My truth-to-lie ratio ain’t lookin’ so good. Every time I say “heart attack” and “Pappy” in the same sentence I expect the hand of God to squash me flat.

“Ain’t your lie, it’s mine,” Granny assured me. “And I’m tellin’ you to stick with it. If you don’t you’re disobeyin’, and that’s ten times worse than a lie.”

Granny’s thinkin’ is a twisty thing, which is pretty much what Pappy said right before she shoved his face into the pea soup.

It’s probably true God don’t like lies. But God ain’t as scary as Granny.

 

***  #3 – AROOooooooooo! It’s Howl-o-Weenie time! Howl-o-Weenie is an annual festival that occurs here in Atlanta the first Saturday in October. It is sponsored by DREAM (Dachshund Rescue, Education, Awareness and Mentoring) and is a huge gathering of Dachshunds and the humans that love them. Some activities that occur:  howling contest, costume contest, kissing contest, Dachsund Dash race, Dachsund Dunk (dunking for hot dogs). These little dogs are game for anything, and the level of adorable is off the charts. One of my daughters has two Dachshunds (Special Agent McGee and Federal Agent Chutsky), so we tag along with her to Howl-o-Weenie every year and have a blast. For a small fee one can purchase lunch (hot dogs, naturally, with chips, a drink, and a cookie) and the festival ends with the Doxie Hokey Pokey. All proceeds go to vet care for DREAM’s foster Dachshunds. The festival is so much fun, y’all. I always post pictures of the costumed pups. If you’re interested in seeing photos from past Howl-o-Weenies, follow these links. Prepare to say “aww.”

Howl-o-Weenie 2013

Howl-o-Weenie 2012

Howl-o-Weenie 2011

 

The 2014 festival is Saturday, so next week’s post will include new Howl-o-Weenie photos.

*** #4 – Last thing, just a quick “horn toot,” if you don’t mind. I received acceptance from Mozark Press for my mystery, “Dictation of Death,” to be included in the upcoming That Mysterious Woman: A Shaker of Margaritas Anthology. This is the first mystery story I’ve ever written, and now that I know how much fun mystery writing is you know I’ll have to write more of them. Of course there is romance alongside the mystery, because that’s how I roll. I can’t help it. It’s like an allergic reaction.  🙂

Please put yourself in the Buff and leave a comment! Ever been to Cape Cod? Tell me about it. Do you love micro-fiction—to read it, write it, or both? Do you have a micro-fiction story to share in the comments? And what about Dachshunds? Are you a weenie-dog lover or not so much? Do you share your life with a dog? Tell me about your pooch. I’d love to hear the Naked Truth about the dog in your life. Mysteries? Yes, no? Who is your favorite mystery writer and why?

Love the Wednesday you’re in, Buttercup, and I’ll see you next week for more of the Naked Truth. Have an awesome week, and thanks for spending time with me!

Lisa


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