Lisa Ricard Claro – Author

Romance is good for your heart!

Dazed and Confused

Posted on Feb 24, 2010 by Lisa Ricard Claro   7 Comments | Posted in confused · dazed · Led Zepplin · memory

Memory is a remarkable thing.  One minute you have it and the next—poof!—it runs off to play hide and seek.  As you might guess, I have a theory about this.  We’ll call it “Biology by Lisa” because that sounds trendier and more scientific than “The Old Bagger is At It Again”. 
See, when we are youngsters, the gray cells aren’t really gray.  In “Lisa’s World” gray cells are more along the lines of bunny-nose-pink or robin’s egg blue.  Something cheery.  As we age, the cells morph to gray, and everyone knows that gray denotes old which equals things like skin tabs, stray chin hairs, and the dreaded Memory Vortex.  I know old can equal happy things, too, but I forget what those are right now. 
The Memory Vortex is familiar to everyone over the age of forty.  It is that whirling mass of nebulous energy that draws into its center every bit of important information you swore you would never forget.  C’mon, admit it.  You have a Memory Vortex all your own.  I’m so familiar with mine I named it Manny.  Manny is the black hole in my gray cells that sucks in pertinent information and spits out trivia.  How is it I can recall all of the words to Bobby Vinton’s “Blue Velvet” yet forget, for two weeks straight, to return my library books? 
Manny is a twisted, Machiavellian, gray cell creation. 
When my brain cells were bunny-nose-pink they had terrific recall.  My memory was so keen edged my husband quaked in fear whenever I said anything that resembled, “I remember when. . .”  He called me “his little elephant” which, now that I think about it, is not quite the compliment I supposed it to be.  He needn’t fear, however; by the time I post this Manny will have sucked the whole memory into his belly and spit out something I didn’t know I knew. 
Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were” played on the radio the other day.  Why do I remember that Warren Beatty was first offered the part of Hubbell Gardner in the movie which was eventually played by Robert Redford, and that when Redford vacillated about it Ryan O’Neal was considered as an alternative?  Why? Why do I have this stuff stuck in my brain? I don’t care about Hubbell Gardner.  I want to remember to mail birthday cards on time and how to do algebra. 
There should be a way to dye brain cells from gray back to Easter egg pastels.  If I ever figure out how, I’ll let you know. 
Aw, who am I kidding? Even if I do noodle it out, before I can share the revelation Manny will suck it up and spit out the lyrics to Led Zepplin’s “Dazed and Confused”.  He’s got a real sense of humor, that Manny.
Til next time –
Lisa

7 Responses to "Dazed and Confused"

  1. Comment by Linda O'Connell
    February 24, 2010 at 9:14 am  

    Lisa, is your essay funny because it reeks of my reality or are you always this funny? Love it.

  2. Comment by BECKY
    February 24, 2010 at 12:29 pm  

    Hilarious and oh so true! But, hey, I think we all SHOULD remember Hubbell Gardner!! My god, he was gorgeous….(but also a jerk!) I do hope we can keep those little tidbits of trivial information, especially song lyrics, because I love to burst into song ever so often! Whether it's my Karen Carpenter voice, or my Ethel Merman voice, or my Beverly Sills voice, it makes me happy!

  3. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 24, 2010 at 9:50 pm  

    Linda – If I didn't find humor in this stuff I'd drive myself nuts. Looking for the funny keeps me going most days and, fortunately, there's a lot to laugh about. Thanks for the compliment…I'm a needy writer and love to hear it. That stuff keeps me going, too!

  4. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 24, 2010 at 9:53 pm  

    Becky – you're right, he was gorgeous. I think I've seen Jeremiah Johnson fifty times just because RR is so nice to look at. LOL I bust out singing, too! Mostly I sound like a foghorn, but what I lack in talent I make up for with enthusiasm. 🙂

  5. Comment by BECKY
    February 24, 2010 at 10:06 pm  

    Hi Lisa! I didn't say how WELL I can sing! LOL. Just ask my husband! :DBUT, in my mind, I think I sound good and that's all that matters, I guess!

  6. Comment by anita
    February 28, 2010 at 7:48 pm  

    Hi Lisa — I'm so relievds that a smart, funny woman feels the way I do. I remember the weirdest things too (Who else would connect Sara Jessica Parker with Square Pegs rather than Sex in the City?!) I loved Robert Redford in Barefoot in the Park, my favorite movie for about 20 years, and can't imagine anyone else playing Hubbell.

  7. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 28, 2010 at 11:21 pm  

    True…it was perfect casting. I've seen Barefoot in the Park umpteen times also. Loved RR back in the day; he's still cute for an old guy! 🙂


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