Hot Flashes and Brilliant Ideas – Sweet!
Last week I promised a post about hot flashes, and that can be found below under the dragon. (Really!) But first, I’d like to thank my blog pals Lynn Obermoeller and Sioux Roslawski for including me in the “Super Sweet” Blogging Award round-up. The rules say that I must answer five questions and nominate 13 other bloggers. Rather than list 13 I will instead offer this award to anyone who comments on this blog (okay, that’s veering from the rules, but hey, I’m a rebel!) because if you comment, then I think you’re pretty darn sweet.
- Thank the Super Sweet Blogger that nominated you.
- Answer five Super Sweet questions.
- Include the Super Sweet Blogging award image in your blog post.
- Nominate a baker’s dozen (13) other bloggers.
- Notify your nominees on their blog.
- Cookies or Cake? – Both! As long as they’re gluten-free.
- Chocolate or Vanilla? – All chocolate, all the time.
- Favorite Sweet Treat? – Peanut Butter M&Ms on the fly, but I’ve pretty much never met a sweet treat I didn’t like (except for chewy stuff, like Swedish Fish).
- When do you crave sweet things the most? – When I’m breathing. 🙂 I like salty stuff, too . . .
- Sweet Nick Name? – “Snowflake” is what my parents called me. *sigh* I miss them!
Thanks again to Lynn and Sioux for asking me to play along. And now, for those hot flashes . . .
Hot flashes! Mother Nature’s little gift to maturing women. If you have to ask what a hot flash is, then you’ve never experienced one, but I can help with that. Imagine a sleeping dragon has taken up residence inside your body, and at the most inconvenient of times he (of course it’s a he, for reasons obvious to any woman) awakens and belches a blazing billow of fire that shoots through your extremities and pops out your pores as oozing, dripping sweat.
Icky, right? That’s what I thought, too. So I found a way to make it more agreeable.
Step one: This is an intimate relationship, so your dragon deserves a name. Mine is Sigmund Sweltersmooch, and he’s a grouchy old guy who, thank God and the Universe, sleeps 99% of the time. But when he does awaken, he sends me running in search of anything, and I mean anything, cold (I was caught trying to climb into the freezer, but listen, Sigmund was especially cranky that day).
Step two: Now that you’ve named him, learn to love him because the bastard will probably be with you awhile.
Step three: Forget about him until he wakes up. In the meantime, tell everyone you’ve redefined the term “hot flash” to mean “crazy, brilliant idea.” Then, when the fire hits and you say, “Hot flash!” those around you will—rather than gaze at you with a combination of amusement and horror—gasp and think, “Uh-oh! What’s she up to? We’re in trouble now!”
I like the idea that in Lisa Land “hot flash” means “crazy, brilliant idea,” because the word combo–hot flash–is kind of exciting, isn’t it, when you don’t think about what it really means? As a romance writer I actually came up with a few other definitions for “hot flash,” but this is a G-rated blog so . . . you’re on your own, buttercup.
Other word phrases in the menopausal database should also be renamed. This is for the purpose of maintaining sanity. Menopause can be controlled with humor. I’m certain of it. Will you help? Please leave a comment offering a new definition for night sweats, memory malfunction, saggy boobs, or any other phrase you think could benefit from a little positive spin. This is for the greater good. And if you’ve met your inner dragon, what is his name?
See you next week for the naked truth about . . . suntans.
Enjoy your week!
Lisa and Sigmund
Dragon art courtesy of Webweaver.nu.