Inbraceration: Scared Straight
|Clip art courtesy of CartoonWorks.com.|
Inbraceration (noun): 1. To imprison the teeth with ouch-inspiring braces. 2. The period of time during which stinky old braces must be worn. Example: “I must wear these dangblasted things for a year-and-a-half.”
Yesterday I visited the orthodontist for the first time since the onset of my dreaded inbraceration (the word I coined to describe my oral imprisonment). My sentence is eighteen months, after which my teeth will have been scared straight. I use the term “scared” because I know now that having my orthodontia adjusted hurts like a **%#@&%**, and I will henceforth be terrified of visits to The Chair.
When the old wire came out I thought, “Ha. This isn’t so bad.” Then the doc snapped in the new wire (read: wire the size of a ski lift cable) and I bolted upright in The Chair and howled like a snake-bit coyote, certain my teeth were being extracted from my head with a rusty crowbar. I frightened the staff and cleared the waiting room.
Inbraceration is daunting, especially for an old bagger like myself. Consider, if you will, that it has been years (okay, decades) since I could claim steel anything. I finally have steel something, and it isn’t abs or buns. It is a brutal wire strung through ceramic brackets glued to my teeth, scaring them straight every minute of every day, a relentless sentence of constant inbraceration.
Okay, so maybe I’m being a little melodramatic. Maybe. But when my eighteen months is over I will celebrate my freed teeth with every fiber of my being. I will stand tall, knowing that I paid the price and did my time.
Inbraceration. It ain’t for sissies.
Til next time –