Maintain the Muffin-Top!
Today was supposed to be the first day of my diet. I planned to hit the Weight Watchers points system—the only weight loss program with which I have ever found success—intent on dropping the ten big ones I’ve gained since PaPa moved in and took over the kitchen. PaPa is a wonderful chef who believes taste trumps calories and to whom low-fat means frying in olive oil instead of butter. My muffin-top is a testament to his spatula wielding ways.
Anyway, I gave up the diet plans in favor of a happy holiday. Initiating a diet between Thanksgiving and Christmas would be nothing short of torture, and I am not a masochistic madam…so to speak. All those goodies! Far better to nibble in moderation than to not nibble at all because, let’s face it, we all know I’m not going to pass up praline pecans or Auntie Honey’s annual fudge. Or Carrie’s turtles. Or Linda’s nut rolls.
Or, heaven forbid, dark chocolate Peanut M&Ms in those bright holiday colors!
Instead of actually dieting, the big challenge will be to somehow not gain an additional five pounds between now and January 1st. I think that is an admirable goal, all things considered.
Since the thought of counting points through the holidays was stressing me, I think I should be congratulated for inventing a means of relieving holiday food guilt. I abolished dieting but retained an admirable goal: Maintain the Muffin-Top.
Hmmm…somehow that sounded better before it was actually put in writing.
What I mean is, as long as I don’t gain any more fluff, I’ll consider the Christmas season to be a rollicking success.
Soon enough the New Year will loom large and I’ll be measuring my Raisin Bran portions and noshing raw carrots. And that will totally work for January.
But this is December, my friends—the season of cookies and candy and mulled wine; of holiday parties and New Year’s feasts. So I say eat, drink, be merry, and Maintain the Muffin-Top!
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and good eats –