Lisa Ricard Claro – Author

Romance is good for your heart!

Sea of Forgetfulness

Posted on May 7, 2010 by Lisa Ricard Claro   12 Comments | Posted in mama · mother's day
My mama is on my mind daily, especially now that Mother’s Day has a foot in the door.  I miss my mom and talk to her all the time about everything. It isn’t the same as actually having her here, but I like to think she looks in on me from time to time and listens as well now as she did before God relocated her to His place.

Today I recalled an incident from my teen years. Prom loomed, and Mama agreed to take me dress shopping.  We picked the night we would go, but when she arrived home from work she was beat. She apologized and promised to take me the next day. To say I was disappointed is an understatement.  I was so angry with Mama for letting me down that I mouthed off, something I rarely did, and stormed out of the house to walk off my mad.

Why I didn’t get my butt grounded I’ll never know. My anger simmered for a day or so. The shopping trip occurred but I tarnished the excursion with my bad attitude, and have regretted it ever since.

A few months before Mama died she came to visit. We sipped wine and chatted on my back deck one evening and I thought of that incident. As an adult, I understand coming home exhausted after a long day at the office and needing to put off what would most certainly be an hours long shopping trip.

“My behavior that night has haunted me,” I confessed. “I made you feel awful for disappointing me, and I should have been nicer and more understanding. If it is any consolation, I empathize now, and I hope you will forgive me.”

“Snowflake,” she said, “I don’t remember that. In fact, I cannot remember a moment when you brought me anything but joy.”

We mothers have the ability to toss the bad from our hearts and embrace the good, much as we acknowledge the pain of childbirth even as we minimize it in the glow of our love for our children. That heartaches fade while blessings multiply is one of God’s great gifts to mothers.

I still feel guilty about that incident, even though Mama forgave and forgot. Were she with me now I imagine she would tell me to get over it already. Life is too short, she would say, to do anything but love.

Happy Mother’s Day –

12 Responses to "Sea of Forgetfulness"

  1. Comment by BECKY
    May 8, 2010 at 1:37 am  

    Lisa, how beautiful. I can so relate to this. I, too, rarely mouthed off. I think I was more of a "pouter", (is that a word??) than a "talker". Gosh, you were so fortunate to be able to talk to your mom about that incident while she was still living. I think we all are haunted by things said or unsaid, and we really need to "get over it" as your mom would've said!.. Because life obviously is way too short….

  2. Comment by Linda O'Connell
    May 8, 2010 at 6:29 am  

    Lisa, chidlren didn't have as many choices and options back then. I don't remember mouthing off either. I was a good kid who had to be in when the street lights came on, until I was 16. I couldn't wait to get out on my own and do everything MY way. I am quite certain that I created worries and heart aches. But I also gave my mom the love of her life, her first grandchild. Her love magnified a thousand fold when my daughetr presented her with a great- granddaughter. God bless our angel moms.

  3. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 8, 2010 at 8:25 am  

    Becky – Thanks. My mom and I talked about so many things on that last visit, and you are right about being lucky to have that opportunity. I am just lucky, period. She was an amazing mom.Linda – I think all kids cause some heartache and worry to their moms. It is tough as parents to watch our kids do things we think might hurt them. I certainly have a better understanding of that now than at 16! And yes, God bless our angel moms. Well put.

  4. Comment by Lynn
    May 8, 2010 at 12:56 pm  

    Had to go get my tissues – that was really beautiful. Thanks Lisa and Happy Mother's Day!

  5. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 8, 2010 at 1:32 pm  

    Thanks Lynn – Happy Mama's Day to you, too!

  6. Comment by Cathy C. Hall
    May 9, 2010 at 11:32 pm  

    I used to think that "Mom Memory Lapse" was my mom's way of making me feel better for all those bratty moments of mine…until I had kids of my own. Isn't it funny the things we moms choose to remember-and forget?Hope your Mom's Day was lovely, Lisa!

  7. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 9, 2010 at 11:50 pm  

    Hey Cath – I think it also runs along the lines of self-preservation. Ignorance is bliss and all that. LOL You are right. It is funny what we hold on to and what we let go. The letting go is all for the best. Hope you had a great Mother's Day, too!

  8. Comment by Carol
    May 10, 2010 at 11:56 pm  

    Ah, Darlin…. thank you for this story… I also remember snapping at my mom only because I had a need to be right… so hope and pray she was much like her wonderful sister and let it go as easily……. P.S…. Profile says

  9. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 11, 2010 at 5:32 am  

    Auntie LoLo rocked. Her heart spanned the sky. *sigh* Also, if "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" then we got the double blessing of having our moms be much like our grandma! Lucky ducks, us!

  10. Comment by Carrie
    May 11, 2010 at 7:42 pm  

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Comment by Carrie
    May 11, 2010 at 7:45 pm  

    Wow! Thanks for Sharing 🙂 Your mom was a wonderful person and so are you. I have been really touched since Mothers Day…lots of tears…and they keep rolling…

  12. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    May 12, 2010 at 5:24 am  

    Happy tears, I hope (you know you'll get a phone call now!). My mama really was wonderful. I'm glad you had the opportunity to know her.

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