Lisa Ricard Claro – Author

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Stinky Stuff Stinks in Twos!

Posted on Feb 4, 2010 by Lisa Ricard Claro   10 Comments | Posted in butt warmer · ford · QT · stinky

Some things are just plain stinky, and they seem to happen in pairs.
A few years ago our washing machine hose burst and flooded two levels of our home.  One week later, with the carpet pulled back and industrial blowers still blasting away, a storm downed a forty foot tree…right on top of the house.  The eye-popping sight drew a crowd of neighbors, making my driveway the most popular spot on the street.  One guy showed up with a six-pack and a folding chair.
So now a few years have passed and except for the usual inconveniences nothing major has come our way.  Until this week. 
My car, a Ford 500 (the automobile equivalent of sensible shoes) decided to leak with the rain.  I’ve been noticing for some time a musty odor after heavy rains and blamed my umbrella for draining water onto the car floor.  Turns out Flossie Ford has some kind of drain thingy near her sunroof that clogged up.  Who knew?
But wait!  There’s more! 
In a nasty turn, the heater misbehaved, the CD player started skipping, and the brakes creaked.  Worst of all, the seat warmer on the driver’s side died, and I am not a happy lady without my seat warmer.  It is medically proven that we old baggers need warm butts to prevent crankiness.
So, the car is in the shop and I can live with that, because the nice, expensive mechanic is going to ensure a Flossie that neither leaks nor contributes to cold buttism (if that isn’t a word, it should be).  All’s well that ends well (and warms ends), right?
Not so fast, buttercup.
Enter a huge puddle of water in the garage.  Hubby spent the better part of an hour hiking up and down stairs and trailing water pipes with a flashlight until he discovered the culprit. It was the washing machine! That maniacal mechanism of household drudgery developed a leaky valve.  I’ve been nearly a week without a warm butt and two days sans clean laundry.  Talk about stinky! 
Fortunately, the week is close to over and so are my troubles.  The WM is spinning with glee since an intimate visit with a repairman today, and Flossie returns home tomorrow, seat warmers revved and ready.
To celebrate, I will sit clean clothed in my Flossie Ford, butt warming, while I sip a QT Toffee Latte and munch a bag of Peanut M&Ms. 
Ain’t nuthin’ stinky about that.
Til next time –

10 Responses to "Stinky Stuff Stinks in Twos!"

  1. Comment by BECKY
    February 4, 2010 at 10:39 pm  

    Love this post, Lisa! Hey, when it rains, it pours….right?? Or leaks?? Sorry, I couldn't help myself…!!!

  2. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 4, 2010 at 11:36 pm  

    Aw, that's okay. It had to be said! 🙂

  3. Comment by Cathy C. Hall
    February 5, 2010 at 2:28 pm  

    First of all, "automobile equivalent of sensible shoes" is a brilliant line!Secondly, cars have butt warmers????The Beneficent Mr. Hall is gonna hear about this. No ands, ifs, or but(t)s.(Sorry. Becky started it.)

  4. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 5, 2010 at 4:58 pm  

    Yeah, that seat warmer is my fave thing. Joe thought it was a riot that when the car went into the shop the only thing I kept asking was, "When will the seat warmer be fixed?" Some things are just priorities, ya know?

  5. Comment by Carrie
    February 8, 2010 at 10:31 am  

    Ahh to live in the Claro world! I always get a kick out of the names for your cars:-) You make me laugh…

  6. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 9, 2010 at 3:05 pm  

    Thanks! If I can't make you a lottery winner, making you laugh is second best. 🙂 Thanks for reading my goofy stuff! I love your comments. They keep me writing!

  7. Comment by Ladyluck
    February 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm  

    This post makes me very nervous…our laundry room is on the second floor of our house. Visions of soaked drywall dance in my head…

  8. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm  

    Yes, m'dear…be afraid. Be very afraid. The washing machine is a beast. It has flooded me twice now. The first time it resulted in new carpets, so at least there was a silver lining. This time, nada. *sigh*

  9. Comment by anita
    February 11, 2010 at 1:32 pm  

    Been there with the good ole washing machine bestowing a couple of feet of water on our kitchen floor — glad you got it all fixed since the're such finicky suckers. I really want a butt warmer in my next car and a toffe latte from QT right now.

  10. Comment by Lisa Ricard Claro
    February 11, 2010 at 3:33 pm  

    *sigh* I always want a QT toffee coffee. The warm butt to go along is really just icing on the cake. So to speak…

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