Venus: Bathing Suits That Are Out of This World
Since today is Naked Truth day, I’m forced to tell the true reason for this re-run of a blog post from waaaay back in 2009: I forgot today is Wednesday. Oops. So what’s the big deal, you ask? The big deal is that I always post to my blog on Wednesday, and as a type-A sort, I’m physically incapable of not posting when I’m supposed to. That would be wrong. So, so wrong. I’ll lose sleep over it. Seriously. But it’s almost 6 p.m. and I have to vamoose in a little while to go to my BFF’s daughter’s high school graduation, ergo, a blog redux is below. It’s been seven years, y’all, so I’m guessing I could have passed this off as a new post, but . . . yeah . . . the Naked Truth and all that. The really sad thing is that I could have written it this week because in all this time nothing has changed. Fat pants . . . check. Bathing suit horror. . . check. Addiction to Peanut M&Ms . . . check. In fact, the only thing that’s changed in this blog post is the swim shop I sent you to. Newport News is no longer a valid spot. But never fear. There is a better place to go for bathing suits. Read on, Buttercup!
It is a testament to the difference between the sexes that our first warm, sunny day in quite some time meant a Saturday of fishing at the lake for my husband and a day of self-examination for me. He’s bobbing around in a fishing boat with his buddy and a full cooler and I’m groaning because I had to wear my fat pants instead of comfy capris or shorts. (Clearly those Peanut M&M’s I’m addicted to are not low cal.) I’m afraid to pull out the old tankini, my friends. Terrified. Because I know it ain’t gonna be pretty.
What’s a chocolate-loving Southern lady to do?
Panicking is not the answer. It only triggers the urge for a larger bag of Peanut M&M’s (the dark chocolate…mmm…) and, well, that isn’t going to get me out of these fat pants.
Okay, here’s where you expect me to tell you all about a great walking/yoga/Pilates/aerobic/fill-in-the-exercise program to slim you down for summer. Please. This is me you’re talking to. The Peanut M&M queen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for exercise. But I need something to shape me up in a bathing suit now, not six months from now.
Fortunately, there is a place that offers options for the dreaded bathing suit.
Newport News Venus.com has a whole line of suits that are styled for specific body types, and some actually promise to give the illusion of a slimmer you and me. The site is easy to navigate, and there are lots of options depending on what you want to hide or enhance. Give it a click and check it out! You’ll thank me later. I promise.
I’d love to say I’m going to find a flattering bathing suit (isn’t that an oxymoron?) that shapes me up, and that I’ll post a picture here for your viewing pleasure. Ha! And Peanut M&M’s are fat free.
Happy suit shopping!
Thanks for hanging out with me. I promise to remember that next Wednesday is, well, Wednesday. I’m actually excited about it, because I’ll be unveiling the book cover for #3 in the Fireflies series, Love to Win. It’s so beautiful! Release day is July 30th. I can’t wait!
See you next week. Have a good one!
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